Vampires

 

There are no fat vampires.  Did you ever notice that?  No, you haven’t started reading the wrong blog, I’m here to talk about food addiction and self image, but think about it.  The vampire is one of the oldest archetypes known to us.  And what does it symbolize?  Or, should I say, what can this archetype represent?  Perfection, a hunger that is never sated, isolation.

Those are three things that addicts and people afflicted with food disorders have in common.  Which is why I think it worth pointing out that there are no fat vampires.  Nosferatu aside, many are sexy, they dress well, and have a dark secret.  What’s not to love?  Who isn’t drawn to a tortured soul?  Who doesn’t think they can be the one person to fix it?

If you’re an addict of any sort, you are actually the tortured soul.  Your addiction is your dark secret.  And no one else can fix it but you. However, you are not isolated except by your own choice.  What I found after ten years of moderating weight loss support groups is that people leave saying, “I thought I was the only one.”

You’re not.

Whatever tortures you can be dealt with.  Much like a vampire who is “made” addicts are also made.  They  may be born with tendencies toward one thing or another, and circumstance, all valid, may have driven them to their addictions.  And, like most vampires you read about, they did not become an addict by choice.  I certainly didn’t become fat by choice.  Every vampire story I read or watch has a vampire saying how horrible it was to be turned into a vampire.

I believe that being lost in your addiction is a lot like losing your soul, or at the very least, your sense of self.  That’s why when people who lose a dramatic amount of weight are told they act so different.  Not really.  They become who they always were inside.

It may seem to you that one day you just woke up fat.  Or drunk.  Or stupid.  But you didn’t really.  And you won’t wake up tomorrow thin and brilliant.  But you could wake up sober.  You could get through just one more hour, one more day.

For me of late, when it comes to food I look at it and think what is more important, how this will taste now or how will my jeans fit me later?  That works for me.  You need to find out what works for you.  Something will.  I promise you it will.  I don’t know what will work for you. I just know that something will.

Assess your life, your actions and reactions, your companions.  Somewhere in there you’ll find an answer for yourself.

In some stories (and I’m a Buffy fan by the way) there are vampires who remain as vampires but don’t harm people.  Whatever your addiction happens to be, you will always be an addict.  But you don’t have to act upon it.  You can regain control of your life.  You can get your soul back.