Posted tagged ‘cravings’

I Want to Stop Wanting

May 20, 2013

In recognition of my carb addiction I am now attacking it with a different approach, perhaps it is genetically manipulated wheat and wheat gluten which is ubiquitous in all things delicious which makes my craving heart beat faster.  I am experimenting on myself by eliminating wheat and wheat gluten for about a month to see if I notice a difference.

While shopping with my kids, getting them some pretzels in the gluten free aisle (which cost almost $6) they asked why the healthy stuff cost so much.

I told them that processed foods can be made cheaply.  They taste good but they don’t stay with you.  I have had my share of Fritos.  The first one is always glorious but the 20th, not so much.

You may find this article enlightening.  General Mills apparently said to make healthier food it would cost the company over $500 billion a year.  However, to live as an obese person, it costs roughly $8,000 a year.  And more than 80% of America is obese.  No wonder healthcare costs continue to rise.  So many diseases can be controlled or eliminated by maintaining a healthy weight and lifestyle.

For some time I’ve known that your more basic and healthiest foods are on the outside aisles of the grocery store.  The sneaky good stuff that has to tell you it’s healthy is on the interior aisles.

My kids are almost out of school for the summer.  I don’t want to give them a legacy of poor choices.  I don’t want them to ruled by their stomachs as they nosh their way into adulthood.  They are not going to be very happy with me.

But I’m not very happy with me.  I want to stop wanting.  I wish the food industry would help me on that but I think I have to go it alone.


C is for Clarity

June 18, 2011

Clarity arrived at 3am this morning as I was holding back my 6-year-old’s hair as she vomited.  You know, vomit is the ultimate truth serum.  As half of my brain focused on helping her, the other half gave me a stern talking to.  I have been a headache sufferer for most of my life.  The past year the pain finally knocked me on my ass and I’m in major treatment for TMJ.  But still, the pain has been, to put it politely, extreme.  As Anna Grace was calmly dealing with being sick, I came to the realization that I have been plying myself with comfort foods because I have not been dealing well with the pain I was experiencing.  I have been giving myself a free pass to eat foods I either would not normally eat, or not in such a volume, or just plain snack when, as every good bariatric patient knows you should never snack–all as a way to cope with the pain.  I believe this is called an Ah-ha moment (which is different from an A-Ha moment which compels you to listen to “Take On Me” over and over.)  And so today, when I poured out some cereal for my girls, I did not eat a bite from each bowl.  I’ve had my protein bar, and I’ve had a salad.  As I know it will take me about three weeks to get all this rampant food insanity and carb cravings under control, I am easing off.  If I feel I have to eat between meals, it will be vegetables.  I have almost convinced my palate that sugar snap peas and hummus are as good as Ruffles and French Onion Dip.  And much less greasy.  Having totally de-carbed before with Amy Cotta’s Six Weeks to Skinny Jeans program, I know it can be done.  And it can be done by me.  I also know that I don’t have clothes big enough to include this padding of self-loathing I have added.  Self-loathing cannot be contained.  Even by duct tape.