Forgetting to Eat

I used to hear about bariatric patients who forgot to eat.  It always pissed me off.  When many people have weight loss surgery, the desire to eat actually goes away permanently.  Sadly, such was not the case for me.  However, something new is going on.  I’ve actually been forgetting, or rather, unable to eat.  For regular readers of my rantings, it’s not secret that I suffer from extreme headaches.  Strangely, they are just like extreme fighting, only with less bleeding and I rarely hit anyone with a chair.  Last October I made my first attempt to see yet another neurologist who I was told would not give up until my daily headaches were controlled or eradicated.  July 1 I got to see Dr. Jan Brandes.  She was all I could ever hope for.  A shoe-a-holic.  Anyway, we’re trying an entirely different approach with medications to prevent my daily headaches that I’ve never even heard of.  And one of the side effects is the desire to eat has been turned off.  The downside to all this is that I now have to force myself to eat or I feel so weak it’s as if I’ve been overcome by a case of the vapors (after all, I do live in the South).  Now that’s almost as bad as a headache.  There has to be a happy medium.  And that’s always been my problem.  Finding the happy medium, everything in moderation, yadda, yadda, yadda.  Moderation has never been my watchword.  It’s a good thing I was never much of a drinker.  My husband doesn’t understand cravings or addictions of any kind.  He says just stop doing whatever it is you want to stop doing.  It’s the way  he’s wired.  Yet I have a hard time with people who aren’t addicts of some kind.  Whether they’re addicted to reading, shopping, or eating (not all addictions have to be illegal or be bad for your skin), I get what makes those folks tick.  Since I was a kid, chips have spoken to me, in whispers usually (side note, when I proofed this I read the word “chips” as “chimps” it makes the sentence that much more entertaining).  I simply can’t have them in the house.  God forbid I buy Cheese Puffs.  Evil, those things are truly evil.  Green beans on the other hand, why, they apparently are mute.  Since this headache medication has switched off my mental desire for food, it’s still so new I don’t want to test it with something truly tempting.  I’m not stupid.  On top of all this, I’m supposed to journal my headaches, and I also track my food intake on MyFitnessPal.com.  And I blog, I Tweet, I Facebook, I design other people’s websites, hey, I’m even going to be on a reality show.  You know, I think I need my own assistant just to keep things straight.  The big question is, has the new medication cured me of my headaches?  No, not yet.  However, they are getting better.  I am cautiously optimistic.  Sure, I had an ambulance at the house two weeks ago, doesn’t everyone?  And yes, I sent them away with chocolate chip cupcakes in hand.  I couldn’t get off the couch, but I sent them away.  I’m better now.  And that one medication is no longer on my list.  Today I decided I would make myself eat three times a day even if I wasn’t hungry.  Eat something I SHOULD eat by the way.  There is a big difference.  If I can adjust to all this then I can get my funny back.  I feel that has been removed by the headache medications as well.  I wonder, if I had to choose, which way I would go?  Daily headaches but still funny, or no headaches and not funny.  Oh, well, there’s no contest.  I’d rather be in pain.  But it would be so nice to be thin, wealthy and pain-free, I have to admit.  We’ll just have to see how it goes.

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