Vodka is a clear liquid
I’m supposed to be on an all liquid diet for 24 hours. I say supposed to be because I’ve sucked on a cracker. I would not make a good survivalist. I’m not doing a cleanse, by choice. I just have a nasty test to take. Really, enough said about the test. You may be eating while you read this so I shall leave it at that. As I have gone through this day I have recalled the 22 hours of labor I went through with Anna Grace. I was allowed a few ice chips and two popsicles. I had to beg the second one out of the nurses too. They didn’t want anything in my stomach in case I had surgery. Which I ended up having. And telling the hospital staff, because my doctor knew of course, that my stomach wasn’t attached and I actually digested in my intestines so it wasn’t an issue–just didn’t fly. However, I was slightly distracted under those circumstances because I was having my first baby, I was hooked up to all sorts of things and being violated in all manner of ways. Oh yes. Have you seen what obstetricians break a woman’s water with? Well then. My sainted doctor tried nine or ten times. And couldn’t do it. Thank you Anna Grace. I’m thrilled I was that comfortable that you didn’t want to leave. But seriously, a snack would’ve been nice. I remember at one point my headache was so extreme from two days of not eating. Yeah, I didn’t get anything for that either. My husband has pointed out that with Lent about to begin I should do this each Friday and Ash Wednesday as well. He’s not even Catholic. He needs to keep his bright ideas to himself. Sure, I could make chicken noodle soup and not eat the chicken, or the noodles. Blech. I’m doing what I do best. Fantasizing about something steeped in deliciousness for after the miserable test. At that point I will either be over the desire, or need to stash it in my purse. I wonder…..In the meantime, I have allegedly returned to my Six Weeks to Skinny Jeans ways. But I’m so unfocused it’s been up and down for me. And it’s such a great program too. Amy Cotta knows what she’s doing. Now if I could stay away from everyone for about three weeks, and only have a trainer and a chef, I am fairly sure I could get my food focus back. Until someone breathed on me wrong. Then I would go off the deep end. Oh, it’s never-ending. I hear that some people fast on a regular basis. Well, if it makes you feel better I say have at it. I’ve never been a fan. It makes me so anxious. I know I’ll be able to chew food again. It just feels like a never again situation. It’s a little panic-inducing. Especially when you love food as much as I do. No, gum, won’t help. Thanks for the suggestion. I’m not a gummer. Never really got into it. I felt it lost its flavor after two minutes and then I ditched it. After I got braces as a kid I never went back. Though Juicy Fruit did provide a good two minutes. Sigh. I want to chew, crunch, binge. But no. I shall drink. Not really satisfying me today. Although the “vodka is a clear liquid” suggestion is valid. I don’t think it’s quite what the doctor ordered. Plus, I don’t have any. Unless vodka has chunks in it. If I could chew it, maybe. And I suppose, if I had enough, it would be time for that ghastly test before I knew it. And I wouldn’t even notice I was hungry. Hmmmmm.