The scale must be lying
It’s Thursday. I’m four days in and my scale says I’ve lost five pounds. Personally, I think it’s full of shit. It has dicked me around before. I don’t trust it. This is the same scale that has said I was down three pounds one day and up four the next. I am an obsessive weigher. Well, I didn’t used to be. gastric bypass patients are encouraged to weigh every day. My surgeon enabled this OCD tick of mine. And I do get off and on the scale an odd number of times. I did not display this craziness in front of Amy when she weighed me because that would’ve appeared insane, I can control it, and it didn’t count. You see, I had shoes on. Just ask Stephanie how incredibly heavy her shoes are. I have trained my girls, aged four and five, to always weigh with their shoes off. Unlike my spouse who weighs with his bigass cowboy boots on then comes home from the doctor and wonders why he’s so much lighter. Unbelievable. Even though I don’t trust this scale, I am loathe to get rid of it. When I first bought it, I was so heavy I did not register on it. Yes, I weighed more than the scale was able to detect. Yowza. I mean, when I sat around the house I sat AROUND the house. A BMI of 60 is a tad unhealthy. I got it down to 26. So bully for me. But that’s not the point. Scales can lie. I believe they are sentient. Come on, we all know that you weigh a minimum of four pounds more at your doctor’s office than at home. Even if you weighed right before you left. Now here’s the classic mind game. If I have lost 5 pounds in four days, what if that keeps up? Imagine. Just imagine what I’ll look like. Well, in reality I know just what will happen. I won’t lose anything for two weeks. My body dicks me around just as much as my scale. I’ve walked this road before. Sure, sure, I’m losing. But I know better than to start trusting my scale and my body. Those two have never had a good relationship and I don’t expect them to start playing nice now.